She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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