Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
