No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
