im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
