hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i think my cat just said my name.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
