dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
