either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
