Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just high enough for therapy.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
