I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
