OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
