Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
