Well apparently he's into motor boating.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
