I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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