absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Still dying that you shit outside
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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