okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
