Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
