she looked like the bat from fern gully.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
