similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
