i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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