Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I understand Curling. That high.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
