im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
