ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
