I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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