U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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