i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
