the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
