Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
