hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
