I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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