There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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