Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
