haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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