He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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