Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
