Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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