Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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