bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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