: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
