it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
