i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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