Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
