If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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