you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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