i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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