Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
