it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
