dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
