U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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