I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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