Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
