is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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